I haven't posted anything in a long time. I miss venting. Over all life has been good, A few hurts along the way but I think that is normal. It's almost March. My birthday is in March, the 26th and I'm gonna be 26 this year. Why do I keep getting older? I guess that's kind of a dumb question. Because we all get older, but I don't want to get any older that's enough already!
OK moving on... Well I joined a gym!! I have been going consistently for a while, which is a shocker! But surprisingly I love it!!! I can't wait to go everyday! Well i give my self two days off, Wed. and Sun. Other than that I am there! It feels good to finally get on track with exercising. I have been wanting to for so long, but was never motivated enough to follow through.
Well since the last time I blogged I have become the Praise and Worship Leader at my church. It is so amazing to do what I love. God has been so good, so faithful to give me the desires of my heart! He said he would and he always comes through. I love leading the people of my church in to worship! It is such an amazing feeling to be used by God in such an awesome way! I am so grateful to my Lord for in trusting me with this responsibility. His faith in me gives me faith in myself because there is no way that I could do this without Him.
Well that's whats been going on in my life. I'll be back soon!

Determination

Everyone has dreams and aspirations. I remember growing up as a child thinking, "When I grow up I'm gonna have a big house, a nice car, lots of money to spend, and I'm not gonna have a care in the world." Yes that is childish thinking. But most of that is attainable, With lots of work and persistence. We all have worries and cares and the older you get I think the more we worry. But what keeps us from attaining those goals?
Circumstances. Things happen in our lives that we can't control and that keeps us from working towards the goal. The main thing that I see is MOTIVATION. We start off good, with plans and goals to reach. But something happens inside that makes us think that maybe the work is too hard, or I'm not good enough to have this. Sometimes it's just plain laziness. Being born in our day in age is hard. We have everything Instant and Fast, not having to work for anything. This has made our generation lazy. Especially if we had parents that did everything for us. Now I wasn't born into a wealthy family, but my mom did everything for me and my brothers. She did it because she loves and cares for us. I know that there is not anything my mom wouldn't do for me. But in ways it has done me bad. Growing up and getting married was hard. Not having mom around to clean or cook. I was so use to having everything done for me that I was too lazy to do it myself. I'm 25 and just now getting use to being a grown up. Maybe this is something we won't do to our children. I love my kids but I want them to have more than I had, and in order for them to get that, they will have to work hard. It won't be easy but I know that they can do it. I have goals and dreams that I can't wait to come true. But I know that I will have to work hard and press on toward my goal. Every time I fell like giving up God gives me the strength to go on. No matter what circumstance, or what trails my come, I am determined to reach my goal.

New beginning

Time heals all wounds. I heard this statement many times as a way to comfort people. Yet when I try to tell myself "You're gonna be okay, time heals all wounds." I feel no comfort whatsoever. Does anyone ever fully recover from emotional wounds? I feel wounded, like I just came out of a war, or battle. Bleeding all over the place. Then I patch myself up and go on pretending like everything is okay, until something, someone, or even a memory opens up the wound and then I'm bleeding all over the place again. So I'm never fully healed. I am going to make a decision right now to allow God to do all the healing in me that needs to be done. I'm not going to allow this to over take my life. God has so much in store for me and I will never be able to grasp it until I let this hurt go. I now know that I need God more than ever. He is my strength. When I am weak he is so strong. I can't wait to see the outcome of this. Maybe a stronger woman of God!

My Grandma turned 87 October 23,2009! She so happened to be in town on her birthday. I live in Oklahoma and she lives in South Houston, Texas. All the family here was so excited to celebrate with her! She is truly an amazing woman. She has 8 children, 5 girls, 3 boys. Who she raised mostly by her self. Her husband died when my mother was just 3 years old. So she relied on the help of her older children to help keep the family going. She has around 30 grand kids,and countless amount of Great grand kids. Sadly she has out lived two of her children. It was very hard for everyone in the family. Yet she still manages to stay active and very lively. She volunteers at a senior center in Houston. She has been attending her home church for 20 years. She is a mighty woman of God. She is a perfect example of a strong, powerful woman. I am so proud to call her my Grama! If I turn out to be half the woman she is one day, it would be more than enough! I Love you G'ma!!!

Succeeding at being Yourself.

Romans 16:6 says We all have different gifts according to the grace given to us. Most people spend a lot of time trying to be what people want, or what people think we should be. Doing things to please people, yet you're unhappy when you do it. Deep down you need to say No, but your mouth still says Yes. You feel like you don't want to disappoint that person, or that if you don't do what they want they'll reject you. Insecure people say "Yes" when they really mean "No". People who succeed at being themselves do not allow other people to control them. Now, we can't be angry at people for putting demands on us. We are responsible to order our lives. We need to know our Identity, our Direction, and our Calling (God's will for our lives). We need to make decisions that will keep us pressing toward our goal. What people think is not our problem. It is our responsibility to be what God has created us to be. And of course there are times in life that we do things that we'd rather not do. We do things for others because we love them, and we should do that. But in doing that we are still being led by God's spirit to walk in love. This is entirely different than being controlled and manipulated by other peoples demands and expectations.
This is a little bit of what I'm learning from Joyce Meyer's book "Succeeding at being yourself." There will be more to come! The more I learn the more I'll share!

Happiness

Life, Living. To have Life, air in your lungs, water in your body, is easy, common. But to be Living your Life, with no regrets. Being able to look back when you're old and say "I did all I could do to live my life to the fullest." "I enjoyed my Life." "I had adventure, love, pain, sadness, growth, happiness." What makes you happy? I put these pics of my two girls because they are one of the things that make me happy and bring joy to my heart! If we were to ask ourselves, what makes me happy? What can I do to be happy? Then follow through and do it. Just think how different the world would be if we were all truly happy. God says that he will give us the desires of our heart. What do you desire? Knowing God makes it so much easier to be happy! Trials come to everyone, but who do you depend on to help you get through it? Some people turn to alcohol, drugs, sex, anything to make you forget the problem. The the next morning your problem is still there. We all have issues, but with God we don't forget or ignore our problems we solve them! God will keep us content even through the trials. I want to Live my life the way God has planned for me. That will truly make me HAPPY! I now know that in Him I find TRUE Joy, Happiness, Peace, and nothing else can or ever will replace that!

Thoughts

Well this is my first Blog. I want to be able to express myself in new ways. Times like these are weird or difficult. I guess when you get a little older things change, people change and you don't always understand. You think that you will always have someone in your life, that you will always be able to depend on that person, but then something changes that. Even though it's hard to understand what happening or why thing are the way they are, God always gives me the strength to go on. It's times like these that God draws me close to him, and makes me aware that I will always need him, and that no matter what happens He will always be the one that I can count on. That will never change! I want to depend totally on Him. I want Him to be able to count on me the way I count on Him.
This is my prayer.... God please give me the strength to do what You need me to do. I want to be totally available to you in all my ways. Show me Your grace and mercy like I have never seen before. Use me in any way, I am ready and willing. I am go grateful to you for the love you give, even when I don't deserve it. I love you.....Amen.